Back Out On The Street

 

I'm sure some of you have noticed that I have not been taking my usual walks for a long, long time and I really haven't been able to figure out why. I have either been a runner or a walker most of my adult life. That's just what I did. And I was faithful about it. When the children were really young and couldn't be left alone, I'd get up before the rest of the household, get dressed, put on my shoes, and walk out the door. Often in the dark. I'd get in my miles, come home, drink coffee, and then start the rest of my day when the kids and the man got up. I look back on that now and wonder how I did it. 
I do remember that in those days, naps were the what gave me life and there were many mornings when the promise of getting back in bed for a nap later in the day was the only thing that got me out of bed. 
When we moved here, twenty two years ago, I figured out routes to take in the woods and on the highway, down country roads, and just around Lloyd. For awhile I was walking a road that I had to drive to and park to access. I was doing pretty good milage then, four or five miles a day at my most dedicated. 
And then, for whatever reason, I just started slacking off. The heat got to be too much and I stubbornly refused to get up early and get out there quickly. I just had too much to do in the mornings! Most of which involved reading blogs, commenting, and reading other things online and then doing a crossword. And of course I had to eat breakfast and finally I'd put on my sports bra and shorts and T-shirt by which time it was already at least 85 degrees if not in the 90's. In the summers, at least. 
And then there was the kidney stone which prevented me from walking for awhile and then...
Oh, who knows? 
I just could not force myself to get out and walk. 

But last night, for no apparent reason, I decided that it would be a good thing for me in so many ways to get up and stop fucking around and put those shoes on and just walk out the door. 
Just walk out the door. 
Simplest thing in the world. 
And the bizarre thing is- I did it. 
I didn't walk very far but I spent about forty minutes doing it and I wasn't just strolling. I wasn't speed-walking by any means, but there was no lallygagging. 
And I really enjoyed it. There wasn't anything new going on that I could see but every season brings different blooms and the sky changes minute by minute. I've been missing that sort of thing, that subtle and undramatic cycle of everything around us that is only truly noticeable when you're on foot. 
It wasn't noticeably different than when I walked before, as in I didn't feel that I was completely out of shape, although I probably am. This evening, though, I will admit to being tireder than usual but I also did a tiny, tiny bit of garden work in the heat when I got home and then I cleaned the refrigerator which, if you do it properly, requires some physical effort. So there's that too. I am not a completely inactive being but I would like to become more active once again. 

Those morning glories up top there are growing in my neighbor Carol's yard and you can see the blurry pink of the crepe myrtle behind it. These two blooms are some of the things I've missed the most. The blue of the morning glories is simply...a glory. Isn't it? 

Does that not look as if it's emitting its own light? A tiny sun, glowing through its own celestial blue sky. 

I passed the fally-down house which, oh my Lord, finally, after all these years of watching as it has grown closer and closer to becoming one with the earth, is just about there. 
I did not see Abe but right about where he lives I crossed paths with a neighbor I see walking past the house sometimes. 
He greeted me and said, "Haven't seen you out in a long time. Where you been?"
"I've just been a lazy slob," I told him. "But I want to start walking again."
He nodded and told me that he, too, has not been very faithful about it but wants to get back into the habit. And then he asked me how I've been, but not in a polite-conversation way. In a I'd-truly-like-to-know-way. Like he's been concerned. I told him that I was good, really good and asked him how he's been. He told me that he's been good too. 
"All right," I said. "Let's do this thing! Let's get out here and walk!" 
He agreed that was a good idea and then he went on his way and I went on mine. I do not know this man's name nor does he know mine but there is a connection here. There just is. 
I was a little way farther down the road when a car passed me and honked, and a guy I didn't recognize waved his arm out of his window. I think it was probably another neighbor who knows me from all those years of walking. 
Those two encounters made me feel so good. I am sure that when we first moved here I was looked at askance. Lloyd is not exactly filled with what you might call truly health-conscious people. Listen- people used to stop their vehicles and ask me quite sincerely if I needed a ride. 
But that was a long time ago. They are used to me now and have noted my absence. This is a comfort to me. 
Now. Will I get up and walk tomorrow? I surely hope so.

I made another list when I got home. It has six things on it and I only managed to get one half of one thing done. The item was "Clean refrigerator and freezer."
The refrigerator was a fucking mess. Just nasty. I mean, I doubt the health department would shut me down but it was truly overdue for a cleaning and that I did. This involves taking out all the food, throwing away anything that needs throwing away, pulling out all the shelves and drawers, washing them and drying them, putting them back in the refrigerator, and then putting all the food back on the shelves and in the drawers. 
At one point I told Glen that from here on out, whenever the refrigerator needs cleaning, we just need to buy a new one. 
"Good idea," he said. 
He didn't mean it. 

By the time I'd done all of that, I had a lot of garbage due to the things I'd thrown away and although I thought I really should take it to the dump, I just didn't have the energy. It's bagged and ready to go tomorrow. 
I was also going to clean the freezer and although the most stubborn part of me insisted that I finish the job, achieve my goal, the human 72-year old woman part of me insisted that nah, that too would wait. 
And it will. 

Mr. Moon has driven up to the cabin. Tom's final illness and death and the aftermath of that has kept him here, dealing with all the things that have needed dealing with. There is a lot more to do but as with the garbage and the freezer, it will all still be here when he gets back. He's just going to mow and do a little relaxing. I hope that involves fishing because I know he needs some of that. 
It's odd, not having him here. He'll be back tomorrow so it's not going to be a prolonged situation. 

And tomorrow I plan on going to the river with Lily and her babies and Jessie and her babies. We are going to picnic. I am looking forward to this with all my heart. 

You know I had to take a picture of my refrigerator. Here it is. 

Yes. Yes. I am a bit of a food hoarder. And yes, yes. I am the condiment queen. And I don't even use the salad dressings except for once in a blue moon. 

Sigh.

For your viewing pleasure. Should you need a little joy in your life.

Love...Ms. Moon