A Journey Ended, A Destination Reached

Glen was in town this morning for an appointment and trying to get some things done and he called me at 11:45 to say, "Tom died."
We knew this was coming. Hell, it's been seemingly coming for years and yet, I had a tiny rush go through my body, head to toe, like a little electric shock and then that was that. 
He'd died a half hour before. They had given him morphine and so I think he probably went out and on easily and without pain. Glen had seen him a little while before he died and Tom was unconscious then and so he'd gone on to the business of his day. 

I asked Glen later on this afternoon if he was feeling anything other than relief. 
"I don't think so," he said. And neither do I. Glen has been Tom's friend for a long time, and they have done a lot of things together including buying that property on Dog Island but as he said next, "I've never felt any real emotion with Tom."
"Like affection?" I asked. 
"Yes. Affection."
Tom was not an easy person to be friends with. He was diagnosed with autism later in life and it was a relief to him because it explained, at least partially, why he was the way he was. I mean, he was thrilled to get that diagnosis. Which says a lot in and of itself. His relationships were complicated. Glen and Jim accepted him on his own terms, though, and for who he was which I see as heroic. They were both there for Tom in so many ways, right up until this very end. 

And so yes, Glen is relieved although there is still so much to do. Tom left behind a whole lot of things. Mostly things he'd salvaged and/or scavenged from the side of the road which as you know, I am not adverse to at all. But one of the main problems is, is that these things were probably not nearly as valuable as Tom thought they were and besides that, he stored them in sheds which I doubt he even opened the doors of for many, many years. The roaches and wood-destroying insects alone must have had destroyed a lot of what he had. But of course, all of this must be gone through and decisions must be made over what to do with each item whether paintings or mantel pieces. And his judgement was not always good. He gave me a painting a few years ago he'd bought at an antique mall which he was very, very proud of and was sure was an original but it was so blatantly a print and besides that, was in deep disrepair. Forgive me, but I threw it out. 

So anyway, that is that. And Glen is off to go fishing and my god, he is happy. This is such a burden taken off his shoulders. He will never, ever have to go check on Tom to see if he's still alive, fearing that he'd get there and find his body. 
There was much good about Tom. He was very intelligent, and he was loyal. I believe he may have asked me to marry him once. 
Oh god.
He brought me cool things he'd scavenged like a plant stand or a little bird bath. 
This is my favorite thing he ever brought me. He got it from the dump and really, it's one of my favorite things period.

He gave it to me when I was tending my beloved chickens and before he'd had his cancer diagnosis and his strokes. He changed after those, of course, and I need to remember that he tried a little harder before those happened and who could blame him for withdrawing into himself more than ever, for becoming even less apt to want to socialize or please others? 

Speaking of throwing things out, I got almost no more cleaning done today because once again I was too distracted by wanting to de-clutter. I have three suitcases in my car to take to Goodwill and more things in the large laundry basket where I am stashing the things I want to take to Oak Tree Treasures. I have thrown things away. I have put things in drawers that I simply do not see anymore nor have I for years and I am now ready to just see mostly clean space where they were. 
Tomorrow perhaps we shall talk about family photos. This is a biggie. 

But here are a few pictures I took this morning of an almost perfectly camouflaged katydid. 

And the funniest thing happened today. Well, funny to me. 
I had a Christmas (or Easter, who knows?) cactus that was obviously dying. I mean, it was so far gone that I had no hope for it but knowing what people always say about them which is to just stick them somewhere and forget about them, I had set this one on the deck between the house and the old kitchen in a corner and yes, completely forgotten about it.
Today, I re-found it and I laughed so hard at what it looks like now. 

Hello, happy, healthy little plant! I'm sorry I bothered you. Here, let me put you right back where you were. I promise I won't bother you again for quite awhile. 

Besides family photos, I need to discuss crows and how we've discovered to attract them just in case you want to attract crows which seems to be a thing. You do not need to prepare entire crow charcuterie boards or cook high-protein meals for them. 
Tune in tomorrow for this simple hack! 

So much to look forward to! Hoo boy! 

And I am remembering what Ross said about looking up. I don't think Tom ever admired another person in this world the way he admired Ross. So, yeah. 
Look up and just give a thought to Tom, a very complicated person who will not suffer for one more second. 

Love...Ms. Moon